livingdownunder10

I am so happy to be able to be writing, after such a long time, while sitting in the kitchen of my old student shareflat in Oslo. This is thanks to my good friend Sigurd who always lets me borrow his room during the holidays! I came yesterday, feeling nostalgique straight away. I have so many memories from this place; parties, dinners and shared moments with my flatmates from when I studied in Oslo. How come that feels like a decade ago?? Anyway, I'm very happy to be back for yet another week before I'm leaving back to Paris and far too many exams. As I'm sitting here, Saturday night and not yet ready to go to bed, I wanted to write some words about 2012, and about the last months in particular. This is the year that I've been creating a close relationship to France, on both good and bad terms. The year I've found out that sometimes you need to be hard on the outside and say "fuck it, I'm good enough", maybe twice to make sure you believe it. Sometimes people you don't care about will try to make life tough for you, and you just have to look the other way, in order to find confort and smiles elsewhere. And not least, I've found out that nomatter how much I try, I always get tipsy after only one glass of wine.. France didn't change that.  

Life in Paris is in every way so different to the one I had in Montpellier, where I almost forgot how it was to be stressed. I actually remember complaining about not having enough to do at some point (what a foolish thing to do!). However, my current life couldn't be more different. After 3 month as a student at Panthéon Assas, I've learnt things about myself that I were not really aware of. I've been more aware of my scandinavian values, about the importance of respect. I've experienced classroom situations where seminarleaders seem to enjoy making a fool of some students and I have the impression that they want us to feel like shit. This way of "encouraging" improvement is something I find very strange, but I had to learn how to deal with it. I had to tell myself every now and then that I should be proud of myself, even though sometimes I wonderned what the hell I was doing there. How will I ever meet their standards? How could I imaging being able to succede? I still think like that, but I also know myself well enough to say that I'd never quite something I've started. I'm too stubborn. And the feeling when you achieve personal improvements, even though they're small, always makes you think that all the struggle was worth it :))

So I can definitely say that I've become tougher the last months, but more importantly that I've understood that the values of my own society are actually not to be found everywhere. In France, being in a position of authority seems to give you the power to treat other people as you want. I might have fallen a little bit out of love with France, even though there are heaps of things I appreciate a lot, like the respect for people that are older than you, the appreciation of good food and the outgoing spirit of french people. Even though I might not want to settle down in France, I know that I'm not in a hurry leaving this country. I've always been a realist, and this is my final words for tonight, and for 2012; nothing is perfect, noone and nowhere. And to make a relationship strong, you need to see past the places where the sun always shines.  

The Parisian summer was warm and beautiful, and I did get to enjoy it in between my search for a place to live. It's been a bit more than a month now since I moved into my new home; a small, but cosy one room appartment in "le Marais", which is the most popular area for "young and hopefull" people in Paris. Definitely not the worst environement to live in. I was very lucky to get a contract through a small agency that found me trustworthy - being a foreigner looking for an appartment turn out to be slightly more difficult in Paris than in Montpellier. However, as my dad always says, "everything works out fine for nice girls". I love the atmosphere of the small streets, which are filled with typical french restaurants, cheese and fruit shops, not to mention clothing boutiques. Every second person passing on the street is a fashion inspiration and I just want to spend my time reading a book in a café or discovering new corners of the city, new shops and new bars.

However, after starting university, reality hit me and gave me a taste of a different Paris. Summer turned to fall, and the rain replaced the sun. Starting university was quite a shock (and still can be). First of all, the french university method turned out to be very different from what I'm used to from Norway and Australia. I will be taking seven subjects, all in all 28 hours of classes every week. My first reaction was  "how the hell am I going to have time to read and prepare myself?!". First wave of modest panic. Then I understood that in France, the students bring their macbooks to class and then note down everything (and then I mean everything) that the professors are saying and that's supposed to be enough. However, this practice didn't reassure me at all, given that I'm incapable of copying word by word in french. Second wave of panic; almost half of my master consists of law courses. I never ever read a legal text in my life, so the law professors could as well been speaking in chinese and it wouldn't matter. However, giving up has never been an option for me, so I started to get down to business. I begun to note down every legal expression I didn't understand and then search them up on the internet when I came home. Asking descreatly the person next to me in class for explanations also turned out to be very helpfull. An extra bonus is that I have a french friend who studies law that will help me with the basics - thank you Chloé! I guess that's how I'll learn, little by little.

So life in Paris is not only "la vie en rose". Before it always surprised me to see people returning from work by metro at 8pm. Now I'm one of them! But even though Paris is more than cafélife, cheese and wine, I have to say that those things were far from the reason why I wanted to move here. I wanted to be close to so many people that I care about. Today I spent the evening with a very good french frend of mine that I met in Oslo 4 years ago and that I've stayed in touch with since then. Now we live a 20 minute walk away from eachother. Not to mention my group of french friends from Australia. They all live in Paris. And last, but not least, my new and challenging life would seem a lot more difficult if it was not for Alexandre. You are always so supporting, even though you also spend tough days at uni. And even though I feel lost sometimes you always make me feel safe. So after all, life is not bad at all. Today it was raining all day long. But I guess it's just a different shade of beautiful.     

There it is; I have finally moved to Paris. To the city where street artists fill the air with nostalgic music that reminds you of one of those films you've seen where the girl gets the man she wants in the end. To the city where nothing is baught more regularly than the baguette. To the city of love. The city of exquisite cuisine. The city of macarones, Galerie La Fayette and the Louvre museum. I could've kept on mentioning many clichés about Paris, and they are all very far from what I surround myself with one week after my arrival in the French capital. Except the baguette (impossible to avoid). I'm still waiting to start my new life, as I have not yet found a place to live. However, the search of a studio or a shared appartment is far more difficult than I had imagined. Luckily I don't start my university courses before the 1 October, so I have still some time. But it is to be said that especially for a foreigner, it's not easy to gain the trust of the property owners. "Your parents are not french?? how can I then make sure they will support you?" I see. At least I'm not alone with my house-hunting. Alex is in the same situation as me, and we're doing the visits together. I have no idea how we would've managed without his iphone! (I would rather not be alone with a map..) We already went on plenty of visits, sometimes lining up with 30-40 others, all of us eager to get our hands on a fresh contract. At least it's easy to keep in shape these days, as all the appartments are situated on the sixth floor without elevator.

The most memorable experience took place in a street hosting 6 prostitutes. So there we were, lining up, the whole group more or less uncomfortable with the fact that this could be their new home street. But we all stood there waiting. Actually I just wanted to get inside, before the breasts of the oldest prostitute would fall out.. As we started to mount the staircases, I was very happy that I didn't wear the heels of the girl next to me. Appartment first, fashion later! Everytime someone left the available studio, their face revealed either disapointment or astonishment. When people even laughed on their way out, saying that we were all waisting our time, I wanted to stay just to satisfy my curiousity. The "studio" looked like a prison cell, with a dirty frameless bed, no decoration what so ever and the cold floor made me think of an institution from a horror movie. Even Alex, who always point out at least one positive thing about each place we visit, was speechless. At least we had a good laugh. Even though I have to say that my unspoken dream of living in an appartment where I'll be able to wake up to the view of the Eiffel tower died a little. But the hunt continues! And don't get me wrong; I love Paris and all its clichés. I'm just not yet able to enjoy them.

I guess it's not always true what people say, that love hits you in the face when you least expect it. Sometimes it comes flying from the distance like an unknown bird; you have a vague feeling about something beautiful approaching you, yet you can't get yourself to put it into words. It's shape and colours are yet blurry, and it appears like a creature you don't yet trust.

At that point you don't know if it will fly towards you or if it will just be giving you a vague glimps of itself between the clouds. And even though it is heading your way, you're most likely not to be aware of it's true beauty at once. It might seem ordinary and familiar instead of breathtaking.

The fact that it has been flying towards you for a long time might not be obvious, because you've most likely been looking away from time to time. Yet when it arrives, it will change the way you look at the world. Not because of the way it looks, but because of how the melody of it's twittering hits you in the heart and gets trapped within it.

It makes you doubt that you've ever heard real music before, since all other tones suddenly seem fake and without conviction. This particular bird enriches the world around you and makes it shine in a new and brighter light.

Its precence gives you peace of mind and its melodies become vital. Without them, you feel incomplete. Without them, you're starting to doubt the beauty of things around you. You know that this particular bird can't sing for you alone, and yet you're hoping with all your heart that it will save the finest melody for you. That it will choose to fly home to you for rest and comfort.

This particular bird makes you completely powerless, yet stronger than iron. Powerless because you know that you're more depending on it than you would like to be in order to see the true beauty of the world. Stronger than iron because you know that you would do anything you could to protect it.

Yes, sometimes love comes flying from the distance like an unknown bird. You can try to look away, but if its melody is meant for you, it will always find you and colour your world.

Suddenly I'm standing there at the railway station. My belongings from the last 9 months are packed down in two heavy suitcases standing next to me. I remember how everything seemed so strange and unreal when I arrived. How I felt like when I arrived in a city where noone knew me or understood me. It's not before now that I realise that I'm leaving. Not before I'm stepping on to the train alone, looking at Alexandre and Amélie standing at the platform. The goodbye kisses were too short. My face changed from joyful to serious in some minutes. Right there, I wish I could live everything over again. I wish I could have just one more week, at least one more day with them. Nothing extraordinary, just to share another laugh, another meal. Just being able to say "see you tomorrow!"

A week ago I was busy enjoying the suddenly arrived summer. At the same time I was trying to prepare for the big last exam which would give me a diploma proving that my french is good enough for university studies. Mostly busy enjoying the heat, and starting to empty my appartment. I slowly started to think that I should bring out my suitcase soon, as my things seemed to have doubled. (I blame Zara for that one) However, my mind was mostly focused on all the things I wanted to do one last time. I wanted to eat crêpes with the Goebel's one more time at my balcony. I wanted to watch one more Norwegian movie with them. Then I wanted to go out dansing salsa one more time and go to the redigulously cheap vodka bar. Eat nutella, drink rosé vin and buy a fresh baguette. However, I was never sad doing all those things one last time, cause they felt so natural. So ordinary, but yet so pleasant.

After my last exam, I was exhausted, but happy. I'd accomplished what I came to do in Montpellier. On the other hand, I didn't feel like I was done. I couldn't believe that I was supposed to leave only two days later. Even though I thought about it, I wasn't upset. I just wanted to spend my last time in the best company. As I was emptying out my appartment, I tought about that I would miss my cat (and for sure my balcony), but apart from that, I was ok. After all, it's only walls and furniture.

Saturday was perfect. I was still waiting for the rush of sad feelings, but they left me alone. Luckily. As the sun was (not surprisingly) shining from a clear sky, we finally got to try out the new tramway to the beach. Happiness! Alexandre, Amélie and I spend the afternoon doing what we do best; chatting, tanning and talking about funny/rude people around us. (How did those american tourists dare to say that french people are weird? Or listen to rap-music in public??) I convinced them that the water was actually not too cold (I'm Norwegian - the Mediterranean can never be cold) and we didn't even get sunburned. Chill.

"La soirée" was spent on my balcony. Amélie had made crêpes (delicious!!) which was accompanied with strayberries and wine. "Le cerise sur le gateau quoi!" As I really wanted to let them know how much I appreciate them as neigbours and friends, I gave them a photo album with pictures from all the things we've done together. After all, without their patience and interest in my learning prosess, I would never have reached my current level of french. The sight of their excitement about it was priceless. Definitely the best gift I've ever given. The night was so warm - summer had definitely arrived. How can I leave tomorrow? How can I leave now?

My legs feels weird, as they had walked on to the train automaticaly. Now they are just standing there, because they had too. I thought I would be more excited about going home. More lighthearted. How many times had I not taken the train in excitement towards a new destination. But this time, I don't have a return ticket. I have to find my seat. My heart feels so big, as it suddenly becomes the host of frustration, sadness and love. Love for the city and for the people I've met. For the people that made my France. But mostly, for my two good friends that are waving at me from the other side of the window. 

It feels so good to be back on track, after five long days staying at home. Thank you Alexandre for stepping by to check on me every day - you're the best. Now the flu is gone, I'm back at the gym, school started again and I'm surrounded by great people! Life is good. I was wearing a big smile the whole Monday. It didn't matter that we had long hours of grammar lessons, or that it was unbelievable cold for the season. I still felt like it was my day! Something that deffinitely contributed to my cheerful mood was the phonecall I had with my boss in Oslo. She told me I'll be needed to work 5 weeks this summer. I'm so releived! Now I am looking forward to another summer in my previous student city, with some of the best people I know. I now know that I have a place to go to in 5 weeks, which makes it much easier for me to enjoy my last weeks here in Montpellier. I found peace with the fact that I'm leaving, even though it's going to be difficult to pack up my things and walk down to the trainstation for the last time. After all, I love the easygoing life here. However, while I was ill, I felt like a mess of feelings of nostalgia. I missed my time in Oslo so badly; my old university, the long hours I spent there with my friends. All the ordinary things we used to do together. I suddenly felt so far away from everything, and I had a sudden urge to text my friends in Oslo, getting the latest update, hear what they were doing, how they had planned their summer. Those messages of replies made my days.

My friends always give me a warm welcome when I come back (I always end up in Oslo) and I hope they know how much that means to me. They actually give me the confidence to change my life for a while. Because I know that what really matters will stay the same. However, some days ago I got caught by fear that some day when we'll all be spread around in different cities, I'll regret that I didn't stay longer in the same place. Which again got me thinking; what am I gonna be doing the next years, and where am I doing it? That choice is bigger than I first though. I know that I have to spend some more time in France to really get the language under my skinn. I don't think it's possible to leave France thinking that you'll never come back to stay longer. I just don't know when I'll return. In any case, I just wanted to let you guys know that whatever I do abroad, I wish I could share it with you. I would love to invite you all over to my place to eat cake and talk all night. I realise that the result of settling down in different places means leaving parts of yourself behind when you leave. Parts that you will always be missing and longing for, but that you can never get back. In return they help you build a new perspective on life into your conscience that will forever be a part of who you are. But in order to grow, nothing is more important than your roots. And I know perfectly well where I can find mine. See you soon Oslo.

Montpellier

Oslo

 As I'm writing this I'm more or less isolated at home with my faithful Tiga, on my fifth day of having the flu. I'll give it two more days, can't waste time like this! Besides, it's a mystery how this good climate has effected my health - this is the 4th time I'm having the flu since I arrived in September.. Hm, however, there will again be sunny days, and in the meantime I'll write you guys an update on my travels! I was lucky to be perfectly in shape the whole time while I was travelling through Central Europe, so I'll stop complaining. Here you go!

Prague (6th-9th of April)

What was the greatest thing about Prague? That I was greeted at the airport by my friend Aléna, who I met in Australia almost two years ago! Amazing how it feels like when you've stayed in touch with someone that makes a difference to you, and then you're suddently able to create memories together at another side of the world. She showed me that Prague is not only for people in love, as we visited the Easter market, trying local food and absorbing the atmosphere. Although full of tourists, I could sense the charming spirit of the Prague castle and the bridge, slightly overcrowded as they were. I felt so well taken care of, and Aléna always made sure that I took enough pictures;) And even though it ended up snowing (..) and I got a fine on the tramway (..) the weekend was spent in a good mood. Thanks to chzech beer, memorizing about Australia, charming streets and a funny language lesson. Ùzasny! (Awesome!)

Vienna (9th-13th of April)

Next cith on my travelling route; Vienna! The best part here was definitely that I met up with my bestfriend Mitra, who was in the area at the same time! What a happy coincident - we ended up having a great night eating schnitzel and having fun at the hostelbar. The place didn't really matter, as long as we could chat, laugh and drink until the early morning. We even made some french friends, right Mitra?? When she left the next day, I was spending a whole day walking around the city half asleep, taking in as much I could of the Austrian culture. Ok, I didn't find it at Starbucks, but a chai tea latte helped my wellbeing. I also met some cool Americans who made the touristy things more enjoyable. We went to the Opera to see a ballet show and had a picnic in the gardens of Schönnbrun Palace. We also made sure the dancefloor in the hostelbar was moving. Thanks for a great time Kevin, Mary and Justin!

Budapest (13th-16th of April)

At this point, my feet were really starting to hurt after all the city sightsing, but I was still excited to see yet two other friends. This time Àkos and Gábor, two Erasmus students that I met in Oslo one year ago. Àkos, you were a great host! Even updating me on the national history and of the history of the city. Really profitable, especially when it was combined with Hungarian wine (which I didn't know existed), goulash stew and walks around the city. I also (literaly) reach the highlight of my trip at the hill of the statue of Liberty, having an amazing panorama view over the city at night. It made me speechless. I also got to learn that Hungarians start clubbing at 8pm after having been drinking homemade Palinka (It makes so much sense!). Memorable. Would do it again anytime. Thanks guys, I'll miss you both!

That was definitely 10 enjoyable days - it feels like I've been away much longer. I guess it's good to go a bit further than France once in a while. That can't hurt, even for a francophile like me..^^

xxx

Time to be a bit nostalgic. From time to time I get these rushes of memories hitting me in the stomac, reminding me of something that once was. Like the summer before I left Norway to move to France. That summer when I was working fulltime, just waiting for the sunny days to pass buy, so that autumn could arrive fast and I could board my flight to Paris. I wanted the days there to go fast too, so that I could take the train to Montpellier and start my new life. Remembering all that very clearly, in one way it seems like last week. Or it could as likely be 2 years ago. Change confuses time, but one thing is for sure; time flies! When I read in a norwegian newspaper here the other day that the studentlife at the University of Oslo was in full bloom encouraged by the lovely (and early) spring weather, it brought me right back. I could almost smell the library and my most vivid memories about the lunch breaks with my best friends. Ha, funny how some things stick better than others. Now when I think back, I spent some pretty awesome moments there, spending everyday life surrounded by my favourite co-students.

Now, after almost 7 months in Montpellier, I started to take things for granted. The tramway, the small and lovely "petites rues" in the city centre, my local grocery shop, the polite way french people talk in and the relaxed southern spirit. Things I do and see everyday have melted into my conscience of normality. Not to mention the people I see every week, my friends and classmates. I've getten so comfortably used to the whole picture. To be honest, I hadn't thought about actually leaving before a friend of mine suddenly burst out ; "hey, you know what? We've only got about two months left here!" And oh dear, he's right. How time really flies. But he kind of put things in perspective, cause what he said made me realise that I don't want to take everything for granted these two last months. I don't want them to be just a transition periode before I turn the page to the next chapter in my life, like I did last summer in Oslo. I'll start valuing small events and random meetings with people more. Because in a bit more than two months it will all be a part of my past. Wow, that sounded very melodramatic, but it's true. So I'll make damn sure that I make the most out of the time I've got left here!

No use in waiting. This Saturday I'm going to Avignon with Alexandre, a beautiful and old city not so far from Montpellier. And next week-end, three good friends of mine are coming visiting!! So excited about that. However, in between going to uni and enjoying these warm days of spring, I also had to continue planning the future. Last weekend I progressed a lot with my research for masters in Paris, and all in all I found three different universities which offer something that interests me. And thanks to Amélie, a good friend of mine, I finished my "dossier" for one of the masters I've chosen to apply for, just in time. The deadline was today! I'm more hopeful now than before, because I have several options in the same city. Can't say anyting else than that I hope the wind blows me north. But not too far;)

Some pictures from a daytrip to Carcassonne from last weekend. Enjoy!

Peaceful sunset from my balcony :)

Have a great weekend everyone,

xxx 

Another birthday, another year has passed! This time I got to celebrate it in France, enjoying dinner with three of the people that are the most important to me here. Eventually, I ended up having the flu this week, still doing my best to recover from it, but last night turned out to be exactly what I needed; warm and intimate. Thanks to you, Alexandre, Amèlie and Mary. And it got me thinking. Another birthday also means another year ahead! As long as I live it with curiousity, passion and courage, it will make me happy. I'll be focusing on enjoying the ride and not worrying about what's next. I think people in general tend to have a need to plan their lives, which is probably a part of human nature. But honestly, I'm so glad that I don't know where I'll be in 2 years, or 5 or ten. Ok I would like to know where I'll be after this summer, but I'll find it out sooner or later. I know people are very different at this point, but I'm just so grateful of my unpredictable life. I know mum, you don't understand where I get it from, because you've always appreaciated stability and safety. I can't explain it either, but maybe you and dad, by creating a safe space for me to grow up, even though it was separately, gave me a ticket to go out there? That you gave me this spirit by insisting on that I can manage whatever I want? That's what I think, and I appreaciate it a lot. 

But sure, some planning is good. For example, I do have to start planning what I'll do when this semester is over. Which is a pretty important choice! Yes, Paris is an easy first option, but the tricky part is to come up with all the back-up plans. First I was thinking "it could be anywhere - I can do my master anywhere". In theory yes, probably. But it is difficult to find a reason to leave France when I'm getting used to the lifestyle, and especially when I speak the language, more or less. Oslo is an option, only becaue I could be reunited with those I love the most, in a city where I created a lot of great memories. But on the other hand, I kind of feel like I would be taking a step backwords. I guess I'll just have to bring all the options on the table, and then, in some months, I'll see where the wind blows.. In the meantime, I'll have to get better soon, cause spring is here!! I don't know how it works down here, if the temperature can change back, but seeing a guy in shorts today can't be anything but a good sign^^

I have now experienced that no place is free of winter, not even the south of France. I had started to believe that spring had come early, after having experienced a week in January measuring 15 degres. Then winter came along! I've been slightly confused, since the temperatures only have been down to a couple of minus degres, but hell it's cold. The raw climate and the wind makes it quite fresh, to put it "mildly". And I have to mention the snow! By snow, I am refering to those two times last week when the snow was falling for approximately two hours. Oh how fun it was to see the panic. I seemed to be the only one thinking "it will be ok". Yet, to the disappointment of most of the other Norwegians in my class, it was gone almost before it started.

However, what is now bothering me more it that I seem to be living in a freezer. Not joking. I'm living in an old building, and I would guess it's about 10 degrees in my studio!! So far I've been wearing about 5 layers at all times (even to bed). I guess that's the big advantage of winter in Norway - it's always warm inside! However, there is better times ahead - I'm guessing this coldwave wont hang on much longer. At least I've decided to believe that. In the meantime, my mum kindly agreed on sending me a storage of whool socks and whool underwear, as the french don't seem to distribute those kind of necessities. Thank you mum<3

However, something else made Montpellier much warmer this week-end. I was lucky to have Mitra, one of my bestfriends, visiting!! We had a lot of fun, which included partying, sightsing, talking, eating and a visit to a jazzbar. So nice to have you here! Sorry for making you believe that spring had arrived, but I hope and think that you had fun anyway, my little sunshine! 

This crêpe night was also warming a lot :)

Amélie making crêpes for 6 people

Alex eating for two..;)

Arriving!

Sightsing

Botanical garden

Reading from the tree of wishes

Arc de triomphe

Eating french food with french cliché looking waiters

Glad you enjoyed your crême brulée ^^

Place de la comedie

Clubbing at Villa Rouge

A cold, but great week-end!

xx